I know my blog is supposed to be a happy and inspiring place to read at. Forgive me this post is not quite about that. But please bear with me as I was hoping that this will make me feel a little more fueled up.
You see, for the past few days, weeks or months perhaps, I’m feeling a little down. Since this year has started, I’ve been looking for my mojo or the drive to be inspired… in my work or in anything else. I just lost it and I can’t find it anywhere. Recently has been more difficult to deal with. I’m not sure if it’s because my birthday is coming up, which I think has a big factor that I’m having this quarter life crisis. Another could be, I got sick a lot of times this year and my body could still be recovering. And lastly, I’m in a stage of my life where I’m re-evaluating my stagnant life for more than 5-years now and I’m thinking of a different stage of life now. Either way, I’m having difficulty finding what I truly wanted in life or maybe just in my love life.
My birthday will be in few days and I’m turning 28. My golly! Two more years and my age can’t be found in the calendar anymore. Thank God for the months with 31, still can’t deny I’m feeling a little old inside. Eeeek! This is one thing I hate being an adult. Shocks!
I’m really hoping, this will be resolved anytime soon because I never really like drama, especially my own. Argh!
age is only a number gang.. maybe if you don’t really think about it.. you’ll be amazed by the unexpected.. (sungo..) anyway its just a thought gang.. don’t feel sad.. shake it off.. anyway you should be happy on your birthday..:)
Thank you gang2… I’m really finding ways to feel happy on my birthday. I really hope, I can just say age is just a number but somehow. I really feel scared. But I pray this will pass. Thank you for the comment gang, it means a lot.
Hi April. I don’t know if this is coincidence or what but I feel what you are feeling now – on finding my mojo aspect. The age aspect, been there and done that already! Sus! You are still young! I am 10 years older than you and if I am to compare myself to you, I would be green with envy! You have a successful business, traveled a lot, pretty, happy family & friends. You are BLESSED. Love life? It will come… 🙂
To be honest, I guess its the same age I think when I asked myself what I really wanted to do in my life. I know that I found a job that I love and enjoy, I have kids & a loving husband but then I am still looking for something – something for myself, and at the same time, not to be mistaken by people as I am being selfish. When I finally accepted that I am where I am meant to be, it when things began to fell into place. I became happy in my own skin and I am running my own race. I stopped comparing myself from anyone and accepted my limitations but recognized my strengths. Everything was OK for about 10 years but now, a few days before I celebrated my birthday (March 21), I felt the same way you are feeling now. I feel so inferior, unaccomplished, been wanting to do things/pursue my little dreams but I am tied to being a wife and a mother. I consider myself lucky though, to have a supportive husband, but I feel there is so much more that I can do and I don’t want to be selfish in saying “I want to pursue my dreams as well….not after the kids graduated in college (that will be 10-11 years from now!) but NOW. But how????
I’m the type of person that you can’t box me – I’m always on the go and have lots of things going on my mind. And maybe when things become stagnant (as you say), I become bored and lose my mojo. I want to learn something new, I want to travel, I want to try new things, I want……but I can’t because I have to be here for them, I have to, i have to….
But, I’m trying….trying to understand and accept some things that I cannot change and find joy in the little things I do & accomplish. In short, paligayahin ko na lang sarili ko kahit papano! But if only I can shout, I will! Maybe after my dad leaves next week and go back to the US, I will have some “me” time to sort things out….na-istress lang cguro ako with a lot of hats I am wearing right now: a mother, a wife, a daughter, a boss, a friend in need, haaayyyy! And hoping you, too, will find out what you truly want to do in your life. Basta, don’t mind the age a! Sus! Sabi ko nga, I don’t have any issues on my age anymore as long as I don’t look my age! 😉
Stay pretty & happy. 🙂
Hello Airees… your comment made me smile. It made me feel less lonely actually knowing someone out there feels the same way. {Misery loves company as they say, haha} The funny thing is, the more I wanted to be in your situation. I know when you’re there, there’s no more turning back as responsibilities and obligations are way harder to let go, but then I’ve been in a stagnant path that I wish somehow I had your problem. I’m also like you who doesnt want to be tied down, that’s why I have a business rather than employed and perhaps the reason why I’m still single haha. But seriously, I think, we all just have our moments, especially when we’re burnt out. And I know for a fact, despite the longing inside of you, you’ll still choose your current situation no matter what. However, I’m not sure if mine is just burnt out or I’m seriously faced with my life drama, haha How I wished we lived nearby, it would be so great to have a little chat with you. Maybe soon… Belated happy birthday Airees… I hope the upcoming months will be brighter for us… =)
Age is a matter of mind. So if you don’t mind it, it doesn’t matter 🙂
hahaha that’s a funny quote Ray… thank you for your comment… I’ll keep that in mind…
Look at the Rock concert picture nalang to cheer you up! or better yet lets buy that Mojo book in fully booked! hehehe. Cheer up frel, lets eat Magnum!!!!!!!!!
Thank you dear sister… hehehe it’s so funny that you found an exact book… you’re really weird hehehe